Success!

We tried not to be excited as we went to the viability ultrasound. We really did expect the worst, even as we hoped for the best. After all, 5 pregnancies and 4 of them miscarriages isn't really good odds for a successful pregnancy.

We were both holding our breath, and holding hands, until a little fluttering white speck appeared on the screen. "That's the heartbeat!" the tech announced. "It looks great, about 175 BPM, perfectly normal." Exhale.
He also told us that the placenta had attached to the rear wall of my uterus, and was nowhere near my scar, so there shouldn't be any issues from it at all. "Everything looks perfect this time, congratulations!"

It was completely unexpected. This wasn't really ideal. How it was supposed to work was: I was going to be having tests done to find out why I couldn't maintain a viable pregnancy, and they had put a timeline on those tests that had extended out at least six months. So GW had decided to continue with school, and get his Master's. Then we'd start trying again, when he was mostly finished with his degree, so that he wouldn't have the double stress of finishing school, and a new (or small) baby in the house.

I was also concerned about becoming severely ill, as I had with TJ, and I'd be unable to manage our household, which normally, I run like clockwork. I was afraid of everything, actually. Women in my family have lost babies in the second trimester before, and I was afraid it would happen to me, too. We decided not to tell TJ until it was obvious that I was pregnant. He's a very sensitive kid, and I didn't want to cause him any more anxiety than he already deals with.

We also decided not to tell most of the family until much later. They had been really disappointed by the last loss, and we didn't want to cause any more heartbreak than we already had. GW's family had been asking us for a baby for so long, and then when it didn't happen, they were devastated, even though we had told them I had problems with previous losses. We waited until we had pictures that were obviously a baby. A healthy baby.

I had some issues with high blood pressure early in the pregnancy, which I know came from my terror that every time I went for a visit, they weren't going to find a heartbeat, or something else would be wrong with my tests. I was put into a high-risk category immediately, because of my previous issues, and I went to the Dr's at least every two weeks, until I was about 20 weeks along. The OB I was seeing, Dr. C, wasn't concerned at all that I wanted a VBAC. But, I hit a roadbump. Dr. C had some family issues, and went MIA for about 2 months. In this time, most of my visits had been scheduled with a NP. Then, when the told me I needed to see an OB, I was scheduled to see Dr. M again. I didn't really know how I was going to feel about it, the last time I'd seen him wasn't very pleasant.