All I want for Christmas...

Is a Silhouette...

Well, not All, but I think one would come in handy. I mentioned having one a while back to GW. He wanted some more info (as always). First things first: price. And of course, I got shot down immediately. Then: what would I use it for anyway? Answer: EVERYTHING!!! ANYTHING!!! YES!!! He didn't like that much, either. I think he's having visions of me sticking fancy letters on everything, like "Light Switch", "Door", and "I Love Lamp". But he did concede that if I could find one super-cheap (i.e., free), then I could have it. And then I could make fancy, pretty things with cutouts and designs and all that jazzy stuff.

I can also see my mother drooling with envy. She used to make fancy cut out Christmas cards with a razor blade. It was hours of time-consuming work, and they were beautiful.

I had also had visions of super-cute stencils for Alex's plain onesies.

Thrifty Decor Chick: Silhouette Craft Cutter Giveaway!

Blame It On The Moon.

Waiting on diapers to finish washing. Listening to Jack scratch like a mad cat at the door.

My kittehs have full moon madness. Paris has been spending most of her time staring at the corner of the bathroom downstairs for no apparent reason. I picked her up to give her some love, and try to reassure her that all was right with the world, and she started to growl. Hella is hissing at EVERYTHING. Puff is meandering around telling everything how pretty she is. Scoot is following Jack, tearing at the carpets, and swiping at shadows. Jack has that wild look in his eyes that means some serious shit is about to go down, and he's going to be the one to cause it.

It's not just the cats, though.

Last night, we went to LL Bean to get GW a coat. (He needed one last year, but wouldn't do it. /sigh... men...) Alex was a perfect angel in the store. Everyone thought he was "So adorable!!" in his sling. There were quite a few comments about how alert he was. The man at the checkout said he was very bad at guessing ages, but let him try. The last one he'd been off by six months. He guessed four and a half. Not bad, since he's 5 (ish). And then we had to go home... Angel no more. He screamed. A lot...

For the last couple of days, it seems like every time we go somewhere in the car, there is someone riding our asses. On our way back, there was someone so close to our bumper that I couldn't see them in the rear-view, and every time I tried to turn around to calm Alex, I got blinded. I was finally so frustrated, I told GW to pull over.
"Now?"
"RIGHT NOW."
"Ok..." and he did.
The person tailgating us passed, with middle fingers waving high. I'm not sure why they flipped us off, as we were already going over the speed limit by at least 10. Should we have been going faster? I don't think so, the particular stretch of road we were on has a very high population of deer. And we don't feel like flipping a deer again, if we can help it. (I'll probably relate that story some other time.)
So anyway, we pulled over, and I got Alex out of his seat to feed him. My boobs hurt, and he decided after a few minutes that noms were good. Noms make everything better. And although I was livid at the idiots who thought we should have been going faster, well, noms make everything better. Then, we started making friends. A few people slowed as they passed by our stopped car. Then, a car slowed that had pretty blue lights on it. The officer who stopped asked us if we were in need of assistance. "To Protect And Serve" was boldly emblazoned on his car. We declined, and explained why we stopped. He went on his way, and Alex finished his comforting. (And still cried most of the way home, until he fell asleep.)

Today (er, Sunday, rather) we went to a turkey dinner at GW's dad's, because we won't be going to T-Day there (we're going to his mom's side of the family... maybe...). For some odd reason, we kept getting even more tailgaters. I was vastly annoyed. Blame it on the moon.

Does the spit-up ever end?

I'm guessing the answer is a big fat NO.
Alex's swallow study didn't go too well. He hated the stuff, even though he was absolutely starving. He drank less than 2 ounces of it. So of course, they didn't see any reflux going on. The doctor was a jackass, even after someone told him that GW is their IT guy, and to tone it down a little. The guy completely ignored me as if I was invisible. (I was livid, but was able to wait until we got back to the car a couple of hours later to flip out. That poor man I'm married to doesn't know what to do with me, or our miserable baby.) When the nurse called me, she said that there was nothing to do, Alex was fine, he was just going to be a spitter, it wouldn't hurt him, and there aren't any other medications they can use other than Zantac. All of which I know isn't true.  The poor kid is in fits half the time from silent reflux, and the rest of the time he either spends trying to make up for lost calories, or spitting sour milk all over me (and GW, and the floors, and the cats...).

The same nurse who said there was nothing wrong with him also told me that I should just "put him on formula and stop wasting my time" breastfeeding him. And that "formula is just as good, if not better" than breastmilk. WTF. What era is she from?? Does she not know that formula SUCKS?? And that there's no way it can ever be as good as mom noms? I'm not bashing the people who NEED to use formula, btw. There is a place for it, or it wouldn't exist. One of my cousins was both milk protein and lactose intolerant, so I know. And I know the pain her mother went through finding out that she couldn't breastfeed her daughter. It isn't always a choice of convenience.

On the same note... You may find this gross, but I convinced GW to taste some mom noms (and joked that he'd probably need one of his lactose pills). He said it was good, and it didn't bother him like cow's milk does. Not that he had a lot, just enough for a flavor. He said it was very sweet. We'd been debating about letting Alex have fruit purees, because of the sugar content. Tasting the mom noms & comparing them to the fruit has proved that mom noms are sweeter than fruit, so all is well...

And Alex can now have things with fruit. So far, he's tried pearsauce (like) and applesauce (dislike) in addition to his avocado. We also gave him some green beans (home made from freshly steamed beans), and he was not really impressed at first, but he got used to them. I have a freezer bag full of "green bean squares" now. They didn't really want to stay in circles like the nice, obedient avocado. I sort of put them in a pile, and smoothed them out to a relatively flat surface, and scored the top so that I could break it into smaller portions once it was frozen. It worked out pretty well, I think. I made some of the squares smaller for morning meals, and larger ones for evening.

I don't believe in "breakfast foods". I'm the freak who would get up in the morning and open a can of green beans instead of cereal. And eat them with my fingers, because I'm just that lazy. They were also one of the things I'd give TJ for a snack when I wanted to go back to sleep on the couch. They make great toddler snacks, really. Dump a bunch of them in a dish or on a plate, and let them go to town. Sure, you end up with mashed beans in the carpet, but it was easy and it saved me from having to make anything, or worry about him choking on crackers or other un-nutritious things. (canned baby carrots are also good... if you don't have light colored carpets).

I'm trying to remember all the things I did with TJ, and when. It's really hard, because that was 10 or so years ago. And he was a difficult kid in ways of food. I remember that he really liked plain yogurt with peaches (gross!), but for the life of me, I can't remember how old he was when I let him have that. The feeding guidelines have changed so much, that I really don't know what's "right" or "wrong".

A Post About A Boy

After catching hell from my Aunt Kay... "You NEVER write anything about TJ!" Here it is, a post all about him. 

TJ has some issues. He's got ADHD, and he's freakin' brilliant. However, these weren't the issues he started with. He cried constantly as a baby. After many tests, it was concluded that they didn't know what was wrong with him. He had a very rare case of true colic. Supposedly. Now that I think about it, it was probably his sensory issues. He didn't do things on a regular developmental timeline. He was almost retardedly (yup, made up word) delayed. I don't mean this as an offense, he really was nearly as off as some kids with Down's syndrome. He didn't put two words together in a phrase until he was 2 1/2. He refused to pick up anything, roll over, crawl, walk, etc. 

Solid foods were a trial, too. He wanted everything thick & chunky right from the start. If it was remotely "slimy", like most baby foods, he would spit it out and scream. He wanted everything to be practically paste. 

When when I put him in daycare (my parents said "get a job, or move out completely") they "suggested" that he see an occupational therapist, which was free through thier program. Fingerpaint was just not happening. Neither was the sand table. Any food that got on him would send him into fits, and he wouldn't eat half the stuff they offered for breakfast and lunch. She (the therapist) diagnosed him with an acute sensory disorder.

He didn't read until he was forced to. I was reading short books by the time I was 2 1/2, so this was really frustrating for me. When he was about 4-ish, I got him a Samurai Jack video game. There was lots of reading involved, but, they also narrated it. The proverbial shit hit the fan one night when I was making dinner, and could not read the text to him. I told him that if he wanted to know what it said, he was going to have to learn to read it himself. And he did. So, video games taught him to read, not me. Within a few months, he was reading to me, instead of the other way around. Things like Alice In Wonderland. He read it better than I could. My tongue always trips over the words in that one.

He hit more road bumps when he started real school. He would get out of control and sometimes become aggressive with his teachers. Ok, that's putting it mildly. He got sent home in K for punching the principal. 

>.<*

His father was extremely opposed to medication. This went on for years. PET after PET, no matter what, his father refused to recognize that TJ really did need something to help him get in control of his actions. After we moved to the Lake, a few months in to school, TJ had already been sent home several times for violence against his teachers and peers. He just did things without thinking about them. GW & I decided enough was enough. I let the doctor write a script for methlypenidate. And he is a different child now. We were cautious, and started with the lowest possible dose of Concerta. It (so far) has proved to be just enough to make it so that TJ can get through his day without flying off the handle and lashing out. When he gets home he takes a Ritalin, to get through his homework and chores. It's really been a blessing, a medicated miracle. I'm not advocating that everyone who has problems focusing to be medicated, but for us, this really has improved our home life, and TJ can actually function as a normal human being. Without being sent home from school every other day for kicking someone. 

Recently, there was an "episode" at school when he kicked in the door of his locker. After talking to TJ, I discovered that he hadn't taken his Concerta that morning. DOH!  /facepalm

The latest thing is that he's also been diagnosed with social phobia. Um... Big surprise there. I'm practically a hermit by choice. He doesn't have problems with crowds and such like I do, though. (He'll just wander off anywhere) His thing is perfectionism. He's afraid that if whatever he does isn't perfect, people will make fun of him and/or not like him. And I loooove his social worker. She is incredibly awesome!! She knows I have issues in unfamiliar settings, so if she has something to talk about, she comes to the house to visit. 

Also (bonus points for her) she has had a VBAC! She's the first woman I've ever met (in real life) that's attempted it. Her first was breech, too, and she couldn't find anyone that was willing to do a breech birth. And she's way crunchy, too. She's not all about "MEDICATE THIS CHILD!", she likes to exhaust every other avenue before it comes to that. She wanted to cloth diaper (desperately, as she put it), but her DH said no freakin' way. I told that was a good thing, there are way too many cute diapers out there, and she would be an addict like me. (She laughed, but she really has no idea.) So she & I get along really well. She said she sometimes lets her love for TJ get in the way of a medical diagnosis, and that he's really an easy kid to ♥. Which pretty much describes him to a tee.

Portland Head Light - GFAK 2007

He's soooo small! Watching a fencing demonstration @ GFAK. Dude with the pink hair was our Reverend. Blue hair is my Amy's DH.  

Spiderkid

JJ & TJ

TJ & GW

Candid! "Um, Mom, why did you take my picture just now?"

Why so serious? (GFAK 2009).

Next Fight: Yeast Vs. Coconut Oil

Nasty-ass-itin failed. Sanitizing my dipes FAILED. Then, this weekend... I gave up. Screw this, I said, and slathered the kiddo from head to toe in EVCO and olive oil, for some severe dry skin patches he was getting. I'd been reading posts that suggested using it to get rid of yeast, but I scoffed. That could never work, right?

I was wrong (again). The rash started clearing up. I kept putting the oil stuff on him everywhere at each diaper change. And it kept improving. Today, the rashyness (yup, I just made up a word) is almost ALL GONE in his diaper area. It looks almost like it did before this whole mess started almost a month ago. It looks beautiful. There are still some spots that aren't covered by his diaper that need some work, namely behind his knees and his belly, but, by and large, it's GONE!!!

I am amazed, and ashamed. I feel horrible that I hadn't done it sooner. How was I to know that the crazy crunchy mamas weren't all that crazy on this one? ;) 


In other news, we saw a different NP for our visit to the doctors yesterday. I hate her. She's an idiot. She didn't listen to a word I said regarding Alex's reflux. She thinks he has pyloric stenosis. I do not, especially since the Zantac was working, but stopped. We did not get a different kind of medication for his reflux. We got nothing, and a date for him to do a barium swallow. I'm not really comfortable with that (radiation IN MY BABY?? WHAT???), but it's the least invasive test they can do. I don't think it's going to help, or show anything I don't know. 


I've been giving him gripe water before he gets really fussy in the evenings, and it seems to help a little with the spitting up and screaming. Last night, he was almost normal. Tonight, he's going to be a monster, though, I already know. He's spent most of the day nursing and sleeping. So he's probably not going to want to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Or maybe he's having a growth spurt, and we will get to bed... And then he'll nurse, nurse, nurse, and drive me batty until I run screaming out of the room.

Christmas is already RUINED.

So, we had a really frustrating day. I woke, gave Alex his Zantac. He promptly barfed it all over the place. And continued to barf all damn day. I'm not talking a little bit of spit up. Barf. Projectile-style. It only got worse when I stepped in some I had missed. (Oh, yeah, it's all up in the bedroom carpet :P) So, the Zantac is officially NOT WORKING anymore. He was fussy and pissy all day.

And the yeast rash has come back. The nasty-ass-a-tin (my word for nystatin) isn't working anymore, either. It's spreading, instead of being made better. It's everywhere. All the way up his back & in his belly button. Possibly on the back of his head as well. I just don't know what else to do.
Disposables are not an option. We tested this yet again, as previously mentioned. I can put one on him overnight, but just ONE in 24 hours, or it's all over. Still gives his butt a horrible, bleeding, painful rash, on top of his yeast infection. For the other times, I have to layer liners & "rig up a system" so that as little of the ointment gets on the diapers as possible. Every time I wash my diapers, I'm basically stripping them to get that crap out, and this is just not working for me, or Alex.
So we're visiting the office on Monday.

So then, when GW comes home, he tells me, just before I'm getting ready to eat, that he's on call for Christmas. Alex's First Christmas. Don't they have someone else for this crap? The last 2 years, he's been on call for Thanksgiving, and spent most of the day traveling to Lewiston to fix their shit.

Lewiston is the only place that EVER calls in problems on a holiday, or even after hours, for that matter. And it's generally stuff that can wait. Nothing life-or-death-OMGZ!-NEED-IT-ASAP!!!-YESTERDAY!-OR-PATIENTS-WILL-DIE!. It's more like "Ummm... I spilled something in/on/around my keyboard, and the keys are sticky. Can you come clean it?". No. No, he CAN'T. HE'S BUSY WITH HIS FAMILY. Which is vastly more important than you spilling Diet Coke or yogurt (yes, that has happened) in your keyboard. You have been told numerous times by the IT staff NOT to eat & drink near your keyboards. SUFFER!!!
>>pant pant pant<<

So anyway, this was just the end. I went & shut myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes & cried. I try and tell myself "at least he has a job", but that doesn't help very much when everything piles up like it did today. And I still have to do the diapers.