The OB on call (Dr. Ari) had been pressuring me to break my water, get an IV, and to have internal monitoring. I was in & out of the tub and the shower. Still breathing through the contractions. The nurse backed me up, and told me they couldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. I kept refusing all interventions, except for the telemetry (wireless) fetal monitors. Alex was doing great, and never had a decel. Heather & her daughter Rebecca came for a short visit.
The nurse, Jessi, asked me if anyone had told me about "sleep therapy". No, what the hell was that? Her answer was "Better than Ambien, for sure". We talked it over, and I was so tired at this point, that it sounded like a really good idea. She said that I'd sleep for about six hours, and maybe it would get me to a seven. With the Ambien, I was sleeping between contractions, but that was still only 1 minute of sleep at a time. I was suffering and I was tired of doing this. I'd been in labor for days already, dammit. It had morphine and something else in it. So, she gave me the shot, which hurt like a sonofabitch, and I was actually able to sleep.
BUT- my ass really hurt for the rest of my labor where I got the shot, and it seriously affected things. For one thing, it slowed down my contractions for almost 12 hours. And I didn't make any progress, either.
I was in "early labor" all day, and the pressure from Dr. Ari was nearly crushing me. I was a basket case and crying constantly. When the shifts changed, and I got a new nurse, Pam. She went to the attending physician, and had me removed from Dr. Ari's care. She also got permission to change all the restrictions that had been put on me. I had not been allowed to eat solid foods (so I hadn't really eaten in almost 2 days) and this was the thing that was affecting me the most. I was sneaking snacks anyway, but still, I wanted a real meal. Goldfish & granola bars just don't work over a long period of time.
Pam told me that the attending was PISSED, because no one had told him that I was there. And he said I was allowed to eat anything I wanted, because I was not having surgery, I was having a vaginal birth until proven otherwise. Period. End of discussion. Dr. Ari was to stay away from me from now on. I'm guessing he was working closely with my OB, so that was why he knew about me. Not too sure, but I'm fairly certain he was told to watch out for me. Anyway, I got to eat!!! The food was awful, but it tasted awesome (if that makes any sense).
The new OB came in to check me. If I was still at a four, I'd be allowed to go home. Well, not home home, but to my mom's or Holly's. We didn't tell them that Holly was gone for the weekend. No luck. I was now at six. I wasn't going anywhere. Dammit, I wanted to go home!!
I labored through dinner time, but things were picking up, as the shot started to wear off, and things start to get really fuzzy in my brain around here. I was in the tub. I was out of the tub. I was in the bed, next to the bed, and on the toilet. In the shower. I hate the shower. I love the shower. I hate everything, and especially, everyone. Don't effing touch me.
Then, I lost my focus for hypnosis. I was just too tired and discouraged.
I was beginning to vocalize during contractions. When I was checked, I was at a 6. STILL. All that for just a 6??? I went 2 more hours, and still no change. The new on-call OB, Dr. Cari, wanted to break my water, too. I waffled about, and told her we'd decide after some thought. We said the same thing about an IV. At one point, she actually told me I was scaring her becuase I kept refusing the IV.
A new nursing shift started, and Pam had hand-picked all of my new nurses, which I was ok with, since I knew she knew what she was doing. When we finally gave the Dr. Cari an adamant no about breaking my water, and the IV, the new nurse (I can't remember her name!!!) congratulated me on sticking to my plan, even though I was in so much pain. An hour later, I was wailing through my contractions. This was not fun. Really. Not. Fun.
Dr. Cari checked me and said I was at 7. I think this was somewhere around 10 pm. She really wanted to break my water, but I still didn't want to take that step. Two contractions later, my water broke on it's own. Again, the nurse congratulated me on waiting.
An hour later, I was in agony, and I still hadn't made any progress. Dr Cari decided a visual exam was in order. So she peeked in to see what was wrong. The amniotic sac had folded over itself when it broke, and had made a "pillow" of water between Alex's head and my cervix, so it wasn't pressing hard enough to dilate it. She asked if she could move it out of the way with an amni hook. I knew she was probably right about that being the reason for this particular stall, so I agreed, because the water was already broken. OH. MY. GOD. The contractions got about 50 billion times worse. And there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. FUCK! I wouldn't be able to hold him right after he was born. I cried some more.
Where I had been wailing before, now I was definitely screaming. I had no idea I was such a sissy!! But I guess I am. I screamed for another hour at least. Sometime within that time span, Jessi came back. Pam had put her on the list of people who were allowed to attend me. I didn't find out until later why. I was in the shower. I heard her and my other nurse talking quietly (so as not to disturb my screaming fits, I suppose) and they agreed I was "very close to the end". End of what? Hell? Great! I wanted to kill them. I was pretty sure this was going to last forever, and they were both idiots.
Let me just say, I hated Jessi with a passion... She was such a bitch. She wouldn't let me throw out my birth plan. I called her names. She still wouldn't let me get anything for the pain. I had said I wanted a natural birth, and I'd get it. I told her that plans change. She told me this one wouldn't. GAAAHHHH!!!! I wanted to kill her, I really really did. Like, stab he in the eye or something. When she finally caved to my demands, (I had told her as calmly as I could between contractions that I was too tired, and I was no longer able to cope with them) I was told that it would be an hour before I could see an anesthesiologist. WHAT? She was attending an emergency c-section. I could have some Nubian, but then I might be drunk when the baby came. Right about then, I started to feel pushy. She gave me an "I told you so", look, and called Dr. Cari in to check me, who told me I was only an 8, I would have to wait. Don't push. It's still be a while before he can come out. Having read a midwifery article about the "Rule Of Ten" I knew she was full of shit. I could push if I needed to. I needed to.
I labored through dinner time, but things were picking up, as the shot started to wear off, and things start to get really fuzzy in my brain around here. I was in the tub. I was out of the tub. I was in the bed, next to the bed, and on the toilet. In the shower. I hate the shower. I love the shower. I hate everything, and especially, everyone. Don't effing touch me.
Then, I lost my focus for hypnosis. I was just too tired and discouraged.
I was beginning to vocalize during contractions. When I was checked, I was at a 6. STILL. All that for just a 6??? I went 2 more hours, and still no change. The new on-call OB, Dr. Cari, wanted to break my water, too. I waffled about, and told her we'd decide after some thought. We said the same thing about an IV. At one point, she actually told me I was scaring her becuase I kept refusing the IV.
A new nursing shift started, and Pam had hand-picked all of my new nurses, which I was ok with, since I knew she knew what she was doing. When we finally gave the Dr. Cari an adamant no about breaking my water, and the IV, the new nurse (I can't remember her name!!!) congratulated me on sticking to my plan, even though I was in so much pain. An hour later, I was wailing through my contractions. This was not fun. Really. Not. Fun.
Dr. Cari checked me and said I was at 7. I think this was somewhere around 10 pm. She really wanted to break my water, but I still didn't want to take that step. Two contractions later, my water broke on it's own. Again, the nurse congratulated me on waiting.
An hour later, I was in agony, and I still hadn't made any progress. Dr Cari decided a visual exam was in order. So she peeked in to see what was wrong. The amniotic sac had folded over itself when it broke, and had made a "pillow" of water between Alex's head and my cervix, so it wasn't pressing hard enough to dilate it. She asked if she could move it out of the way with an amni hook. I knew she was probably right about that being the reason for this particular stall, so I agreed, because the water was already broken. OH. MY. GOD. The contractions got about 50 billion times worse. And there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. FUCK! I wouldn't be able to hold him right after he was born. I cried some more.
Where I had been wailing before, now I was definitely screaming. I had no idea I was such a sissy!! But I guess I am. I screamed for another hour at least. Sometime within that time span, Jessi came back. Pam had put her on the list of people who were allowed to attend me. I didn't find out until later why. I was in the shower. I heard her and my other nurse talking quietly (so as not to disturb my screaming fits, I suppose) and they agreed I was "very close to the end". End of what? Hell? Great! I wanted to kill them. I was pretty sure this was going to last forever, and they were both idiots.
Let me just say, I hated Jessi with a passion... She was such a bitch. She wouldn't let me throw out my birth plan. I called her names. She still wouldn't let me get anything for the pain. I had said I wanted a natural birth, and I'd get it. I told her that plans change. She told me this one wouldn't. GAAAHHHH!!!! I wanted to kill her, I really really did. Like, stab he in the eye or something. When she finally caved to my demands, (I had told her as calmly as I could between contractions that I was too tired, and I was no longer able to cope with them) I was told that it would be an hour before I could see an anesthesiologist. WHAT? She was attending an emergency c-section. I could have some Nubian, but then I might be drunk when the baby came. Right about then, I started to feel pushy. She gave me an "I told you so", look, and called Dr. Cari in to check me, who told me I was only an 8, I would have to wait. Don't push. It's still be a while before he can come out. Having read a midwifery article about the "Rule Of Ten" I knew she was full of shit. I could push if I needed to. I needed to.
I decided some privacy was in order, and made my way to the bathroom, and shut both GW and Jessi out.
Sitting on the toilet was the only thing that was even remotely bearable at this point. I tried not to push, really, I did. I tried very very hard not to, but my body had taken over. I had no control. Then I felt a "pop"- I think this was Alex's head slipping past the lip of my cervix, or maybe through my pelvic bones, and my body started seriously pushing by itself. Jessi ran in when I screamed for her and GW to come and help me. I think I must have sounded like a demon, my voice sounded scary even to me, it was more like a roar than a shriek (like I had been doing). "I NEED TO PUSH NOW!!!!" I remember her frantically pulling the call cord, while trying to get me off the toilet at the same time. Somehow, the both of them managed to get me back out of the bathroom, and next to the bed.
Dr Cari ran in, and was putting on a glove, and telling me to get on the bed, she needed to check me. I could not. I told he was crowning, why the FUCK did she have to check me?? She said, "Oh my God! She's right!" She told me to wait for the NICU team, because of the meconium in the water. I could not. She tried to apply pressure to stop him from coming out. I yelled at her- "JESUS, LADY! QUIT PUSHING ON HIS HEAD!" -and I slapped her hands away, while she was whining something about supporting my perinium. Silly wench.
I was still standing, and I know there were a ton of people running all over the room, but I was totally focused on getting Alex out. I couldn't stop it in any case, and in two pushes, Alex was out. One for his head, and one for his body. Dr Cari still only had one glove on, and I caught him myself. I still can't believe I did it like that. After lifting him up, I laid him on the bed because I was feeling a little woozy. There was water and mucous in his mouth, so I turned him on his side, and rubbed his back. He coughed once, and commenced screaming.
As soon as he cried, the room went silent. (GW said there were open mouths everywhere, no one was expecting that.) I looked at GW, who was across the bed, and we just looked at Alex, and touched him, all gooey and perfect and screaming. It was a "wow" moment. I knew I had wanted to help catch my baby, but that wasn't exactly what I'd envisioned...
The NICU team took him, after GW cut the cord, to suction his lungs. I was very proud of GW for not passing out. This is the guy who fainted during a class trip to the blood bank- they only saw blood in bags, and that had been enough for him. By this time, I had managed to get myself into the bed. When he was given back to me, I put him to my breast almost immediately.
I had some hemorrhaging issues with my placenta, but they got it under control right away. The rapid blood loss was why I felt woozy right after delivery. There was a puddle of it on the pads that were on the floor. After I got in bed, before the placenta was out, I was sitting in an even larger puddle of it that covered my hips. Gross. There's a picture of me looking very worried as I was discussing with Dr. Cari what she wanted to do about it. It was actually me that suggested a shot of Pitocin to help my uterus contract faster, and Jessi appeared almost immediately with it. After some tugging, the placenta fully detached and I was able to push it out with help from the nurses, who pushed on my belly. OW. That definitely sucked, my stomach was bruised and sore for several days after.
I can't believe how BIG he was! When Jessi weighed him, she said "WOW!". I then asked
what he weighed. She answered with, "Ummm..." "Let me guess," I said, "I don't want to know." Her answer was "Probably not!" And then she told me....
Alex was born on June 14th, at 12:38 a.m., he was 9 lbs, 8 oz, and 22 inches long. I didn't tear at all. I didn't need a single stitch, and the Dr. Cari was very impressed that there weren't even any "skid marks". Alex was perfectly positioned. I HIGHLY recommend http://www.spinningbabies.com/ for proper baby positioning! Throughout my the 7th month, and part of the 8th, Alex was posterior. The exercises from spinningbabies helped to get him to roll over to an anterior position, and I think this is what made his entrance into the world so easy, when he finally decided to come.
As we left the labor suit, Jessi congratulated me on waiting it out, and apologised for being a bitch. (yup, she said "bitch"- one of my favorite things to call her during transition) And she said to me... "I just had my all-natural VBAC last year. I didn't want you kicking yourself later for giving up too soon. You did great, that was awesome! Momma, you rock!"
Sitting on the toilet was the only thing that was even remotely bearable at this point. I tried not to push, really, I did. I tried very very hard not to, but my body had taken over. I had no control. Then I felt a "pop"- I think this was Alex's head slipping past the lip of my cervix, or maybe through my pelvic bones, and my body started seriously pushing by itself. Jessi ran in when I screamed for her and GW to come and help me. I think I must have sounded like a demon, my voice sounded scary even to me, it was more like a roar than a shriek (like I had been doing). "I NEED TO PUSH NOW!!!!" I remember her frantically pulling the call cord, while trying to get me off the toilet at the same time. Somehow, the both of them managed to get me back out of the bathroom, and next to the bed.
Dr Cari ran in, and was putting on a glove, and telling me to get on the bed, she needed to check me. I could not. I told he was crowning, why the FUCK did she have to check me?? She said, "Oh my God! She's right!" She told me to wait for the NICU team, because of the meconium in the water. I could not. She tried to apply pressure to stop him from coming out. I yelled at her- "JESUS, LADY! QUIT PUSHING ON HIS HEAD!" -and I slapped her hands away, while she was whining something about supporting my perinium. Silly wench.
I was still standing, and I know there were a ton of people running all over the room, but I was totally focused on getting Alex out. I couldn't stop it in any case, and in two pushes, Alex was out. One for his head, and one for his body. Dr Cari still only had one glove on, and I caught him myself. I still can't believe I did it like that. After lifting him up, I laid him on the bed because I was feeling a little woozy. There was water and mucous in his mouth, so I turned him on his side, and rubbed his back. He coughed once, and commenced screaming.
As soon as he cried, the room went silent. (GW said there were open mouths everywhere, no one was expecting that.) I looked at GW, who was across the bed, and we just looked at Alex, and touched him, all gooey and perfect and screaming. It was a "wow" moment. I knew I had wanted to help catch my baby, but that wasn't exactly what I'd envisioned...
The NICU team took him, after GW cut the cord, to suction his lungs. I was very proud of GW for not passing out. This is the guy who fainted during a class trip to the blood bank- they only saw blood in bags, and that had been enough for him. By this time, I had managed to get myself into the bed. When he was given back to me, I put him to my breast almost immediately.
I had some hemorrhaging issues with my placenta, but they got it under control right away. The rapid blood loss was why I felt woozy right after delivery. There was a puddle of it on the pads that were on the floor. After I got in bed, before the placenta was out, I was sitting in an even larger puddle of it that covered my hips. Gross. There's a picture of me looking very worried as I was discussing with Dr. Cari what she wanted to do about it. It was actually me that suggested a shot of Pitocin to help my uterus contract faster, and Jessi appeared almost immediately with it. After some tugging, the placenta fully detached and I was able to push it out with help from the nurses, who pushed on my belly. OW. That definitely sucked, my stomach was bruised and sore for several days after.
I can't believe how BIG he was! When Jessi weighed him, she said "WOW!". I then asked
what he weighed. She answered with, "Ummm..." "Let me guess," I said, "I don't want to know." Her answer was "Probably not!" And then she told me....
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