At Home With TJ

It was Friday, May 21st. I had been discharged from the hospital at about 10:00 am.



I came back to my parent's house to find that they had made extensive arrangements to accommodate my new disability. My little sister had been ejected from her room, and it had been made into a nursery/bedroom for me & TJ.

There were two twin beds, with the cradle and a nightstand between them. My mother had put a generous supply of breast pads, burp cloths, and cloth diapers on the stand, along with a light that I could easily reach from the bed without stretching. The changing table was all set up, filled with all the supplies I needed for diaper duty, ready to be used. My glider had been placed in the corner, with extra pillows, and a table next to it for my breast pump. TJ's clothes and blankets had been put into the dresser. Various baby care items covered the top of it. She had even replaced the curtains. It was light, airy, and perfect. My mom said, "This is what I would have wanted when I had you. I thought you might like it." I loved it.

Three hours later, everything was not quite as good. I started having more than the usual pain (which was quite a bit). I realized it was time for my codeine fix. I asked my mom where my prescription was. She told me she thought they'd given it to me. No, they had not. Perhaps we'd left it at the hospital? She started making phone calls. No, there was no script. The last thing I'd had before I left the hospital was Motrin, I should be fine. W.T.F....?

The nurses had been staggering my doses, because if I took both the codeine and the Motrin at the same time, it made me sick. So, I'd take the codeine, and an hour later, I'd get Motrin to help it out, since either by itself was just not enough for me to be able to function.

My mother spent the next three hours (with me in tears and nearly screaming in pain) trying to get me some relief. In desperation, she called her general practitioner, Dr. B, because NO ONE was willing to issue me a script, with the reason that I was breastfeeding, and it would dry up my milk.

Dr. B reminded her that he'd given her liquid codeine for bronchitis only a couple of months before. If she still had it, it would be ok for me to take, and he told her how much & when I should have it. He didn't understand why they would do such a thing to me. He offered to give my mom a refill if her leftover medicine ran out before I was healed enough. He assured us it wouldn't hurt me, my milk supply, or TJ. What would hurt us was if I was unable to feed him on demand, and stress from pain, combined with that, would dry up my milk faster than codeine ever would. Thank you Dr. B! My mom gave me the liquid codeine, I was able to feed TJ again, and get some rest, too. I did end up needing a refill, which Dr. B prescribed to my mother.

When Sunday rolled around, D-Bag told me he was going back to work Monday morning. What? Are you serious? I still needed a ton of help, and my mom (having scheduled her vacation for my due date) was going back to work as well. His answer: Your sister can help you. Ok, no, she could not help me. She was only ten. She didn't even get home from school until after 3:30... When my mom would pick her up. What was he thinking?? I learned then that he doesn't think very often, and when he does, it's half-assed.

So I would be alone, a giant hole in my belly, and a brand new baby, with no help. I tried to prepare myself for it, but I knew I wasn't really ready. No matter how many times he told me to "suck it up". And henceforth, all ye bear witness, that he shall be called DoucheBag, and infamy shall reign upon his name!