Why waiting 42 weeks was a good idea

I'm posting this by request for my online friend, Pam, who writes the blog Natural Birth For Normal Women. She's great, really, and is one of the GO's for my VBAC support group. I posted this on the the board on 8.2.10.

We just got back from Alex's Dr's appointment. We had had questions about his breathing- it was raspy at the hospital, and they said it was normal, and it'd go away in a week or so. It didn't. He's seven weeks old today, so we were concerned it could be a lung issue.

The doctor said it's not- it's his bronchial tubes & trachea. Despite his large size, they're underdeveloped. She said if he was born any earlier than he was, he would have been in serious trouble, and would have been in the NICU. She said we made the right choice to wait, and not do anything to rush his birth. 

I just thought I'd post this because as hard as it is to wait 42+ weeks, and not cave to your OB's time limits, there might be a reason to keep them in longer. You just never know, and I'm glad I didn't do anything rash like schedule a c/s or induction at 41.

We're still dealing with Alex's breathing issues, with no end in sight. He stops breathing when he sleeps on his back (so much for "back to sleep", right?) so Dr. E advised that he sleep however he breathes best, be it on his side, inclined(like in the swing or car seat), or on his tummy. He does best on his side or inclined, but it's still scary when he rolls over on his back and just stops breathing.  He'll take a huge breath when I poke or wiggle him a little.  

Dr. E said it sounds worse than it is, and the only thing we can can do is wait for his tubes to catch up with his lungs. It'a really horrible raspy sound- like he's having a constant asthma attack.  This issue would not have shown up with amniocentesis testing, because the lungs themselves are just fine. We'd have been fooled by good results, and paid for it. 

We have had quite a few comments about how soft his cry is, and his raspy voice. He's a very quiet baby in general- there are none of the ear-piercing shrieks that TJ was capable of only hours after being born. He does cry, but it's nothing like what I had to deal with before. 

I'm so paranoid about it. Every time we go to sleep, I'm afraid that I'll wake up too late to remind him to breathe if he stops. I'm really terrified. I was never like this with TJ, but of course, I didn't have 4 m/c's hanging over me, and a legit reason to worry. 

Dr. E said co-sleeping with Alex is the best way to prevent anything from happening to him, and it's great that we're doing it by choice. She co-slept with her son, too, because she was too tired to do anything else after a full day at the office. She hadn't intended to, they set up a beautiful nursery, and never used it until he was two. Putting him to bed was just too much of a hassle. Getting up in the middle of the night to make a bottle of formula was absolutely unthinkable, so she breastfed for over a year. 

Dr. E thinks that co-sleeping and breastfeeding are the best solutions for lazy (or just overtired) parents. Never mind that it's better for the baby, it's just easier to do. She asked if I've changed him in the bed yet to avoid getting up. I have. I did the same with TJ, but that was because I couldn't walk. So now I keep a clean diaper by the bed in case I lack the initiative to walk the fifteen feet to the changing table. 

We also found out, at his first appointment, not his most recent one, that Alex has a faint heart murmur. Nothing serious, Dr E will just continue to monitor it at his appointments. She was surprised the NICU team didn't mention it. Or maybe they didn't hear it- it's not constant, and barely discernible. When she tried to listen last time, Alex was screaming at her cold hands. She told him he'd better hush, because with all that, she couldn't have heard him if he had a 6. So he'd better start behaving himself. He was fascinated by the sound of her voice, so he promptly shut up. She said it hasn't improved, but it hasn't gotten worse, so he's still ok there. GW had a murmur when he was little, too, but it went away with time. Puff actually has a grade 6 murmur, so we already know what to look for as warning signs. You can hear Puff's murmur without a stethoscope, it's so bad. Rita, her vet, said that if the scale went beyond 6, she'd give her the highest, it's the worst murmur she's ever heard. So we have to watch her. Now I'm rambling... I'll shut it now.