The End Is Nigh!

Or not. But there's lots of people talking about it. There are a plethora of blogs dedicated to this one subject. Their one goal is to help you prepare for a massive emergency- whether it be the Second Coming, zombies, alien invasion, pandemic disease or whatever. That being said...

I have a list of shit we have, and shit we need, if shit hits the fan.

It's located on my laptop, and appropriately entitled "My Shit List". Classy, huh? I'm a classy kind of girl. The laptop is always kept charged, so that if I need it, I can access it in the event of power failure. I pretty much know it by heart anyway.
I'm not going to give you my list. I'm selfish, and I want the advantage over you. I think you should go & do your own research, and make your own Shit List. You decide what you need, because I can't tell you what your family requires. I don't know what your skill sets currently are, but I can suggest what you should know.

I have a system for getting our family through an extended power outage. I like to be prepared, but frankly, I don't think anything's going to happen on such a scale that it'll turn us back to the stone age, or even the colonial era. We also don't have a whole lot of extra storage space for that kind of crap.
I'll give you the bare bones of what we can already do, and what we're doing to improve our self-sufficiency skillz.

Food & Water:
An A #1 priority. We have enough food in the house at all times to keep us for at least a week, if not longer, because these things aren't always predictable, or conveniently timed.
If I know about a storm in advance, I make certain all of our diapers are clean (this falls under the category of "water", not food ;) ). I also like to keep disposables on hand, should we run out.
At the very slightest hint of a flicker in power, I fill the water buckets in each bathroom. Once the power goes out, our well pump dies. The water in the buckets is used for flushing (we also implement the "if it's yellow" rule) & washing.
We also have about 10-12 gallons of Poland Spring water (which is essentially what comes out of our tap anyway, as we're on the same aquifer that they use) in our basement, and an assortment of smaller bottles of water kept in the kitchen. These are used for drinking, washing dishes, and food prep. We also have water kept downstairs for the animals to drink, which gets refreshed weekly.
If said storm happens while we have snow, I can melt it. If it happens during summer, we have small ponds & streams to use if we need more water than what I have on hand. I also know how to distill water to make it safe(r), and remove nasty mud, sand, and suchlike. Flat diapers are incredibly handy for removing sand & sticks, but you could also use a few layers of cheesecloth, or even a towel.
Suggestion: Learn yo' self about local water resources, and what needs to be done to make it safe to use. 

We really need a better camp stove. We have an itty tiny backpacking-style thing. Cute, but not practical for an entire meal to be cooked. The gas grill is also a handy thing to have. GW & I can both cook a meal on a campfire with little trouble. We also have the skillz (and tools) to make fire from nothing if necessary.
Suggestion: Learn yo' self to make fires, bitches. 

Sidetracking a little here- GW was in the Army, and has survival skills most of our population does not. I have a similar set of skills from being the daughter of an avid hunter, and also from the dubious benefit of having some crazies, as well as some off-the-grid peeps in my family. I also have the added benefit of veterinary first-aid training, which can also be applied to humans. I can evaluate, cleanse, stitch a wound, and have it not go septic. Pretty handy, especially when you take a major fall at camp, and your husband freaks out & thinks you need stitches (true story). /facepalm
Suggestion: Learn yo' self to stay alive.

GW has no hunting skills, but I've got that one covered. I'm too good, in fact, and would never, under any circumstance, hunt for recreational purposes. By the time I was seven, I could shoot with such accuracy that my father stopped teaching me, as I could hit the "kill zone" 9 times out of 10, whether my target was moving or not. I'm insanely lucky with projectiles of any kind. I can also read tracks like they were printed in a toddler's picture book. It wouldn't be fair to the animals.
Suggestion: Learn yo' self to shoot guns, and how to find things to shoot for noms. 


I can also dress out a carcass, catch a fish with my bare hands, gut it, and cook it on a fire.
Suggestion: Learn yo' self some basic anatomy.

Salt is your best friend. You know, that stuff on potato chips, pretzels, and in your salt shaker that you take for granted? It has a value that is beyond compare. You can use it to preserve meat and fish, brush your teeth, wash yourself, cleanse wounds, and other diverse applications. The human body requires sodium to help maintain it, and it should never be overlooked.
Suggestion: Be a salty dawg. Learn how to use salt, yo'.

One thing that I also consider to be of great value is my knowledge of wild food sources. I know where to find food locally, what's good, and how to prepare it safely. Know your location, know where you're going, and what types of things you can eat when you get there and while in transit. Packaged food is great, but it'll run out eventually, so don't rely on it.
I've also tapped some maple trees to teach mahself how to make syrup. Obscure skills like this that haven't been used by most people in hundreds of years are important, and I'm always looking to expand my knowledge base when it comes to the utilization of natural resources. I think sugary goodness is going to be a valuable luxury commodity in a post-apocalyptic society. And now I can make it! Woohoo! (I also have a tree that produces extra-light grade AA syrup... O. M. G. It's so good, you don't even know. You can't even get that grade in stores.)
Suggestion: Learn yo' self what to eat, yo. 


What to eat in the wild also brings up what not to eat, and it's even more important to know that.
Suggestion: Learn yo' self what'll, like, kill ya. Or at the least, make you either very sick or very itchy. When in doubt... DO. NOT. EAT. IT.  I really can't emphasize that enough.


Also of importance are natural cures. Most minor things can be alleviated by the use of plants, if you know what to look for, and how to use them properly. Again... When in doubt, don't use it. A mistake could range from ineffective to deadly.
I will share with you one of my favorite medicinal plants of all time, because using it externally is considered totally safe:

Sweet Fern.
My (Native) grandmother on my mom's side used to tell her that Sweet Fern was "good medicine"- my mum took this to mean in it's simplest form; that it was good for the spirit. Smelling it does make you feel better, and after further research I discovered it was more than just a good-smelling plant for stuffing into pillows, or picking for a pick-me-up during a hike, or burning or hanging to smudge your home.

It's not actually a fern, it's a shrub. It grows in crappy, salty, nutrient deficient sandy soil of roadsides & sand pits, and is often found growing near poison ivy.
Native American lore says that the reason it grows near poison ivy is either one of two things; that the Great Spirit will provide the cure near the problem, or, that the Great Spirit is basically an asshat who likes mean jokes. I'm going with the second one.

Anyway, I hate referring to Wikipedia, but I will for this one, because it's accurate.... Basic Identification clicky here!  The rest is up to you for research on it's other properties, if you're so inclined. I'm not going to offer any information on it's internal uses, because I don't feel I'm sober qualified enough for that.
So, you probably want to know what it's good for. Duh, poison ivy! And poison oak, sunburns, insect bites, eczema, and pretty much any other skin issue, too. I've put it on a potentially nasty sunburn, and then have it fixed by the next day. If it grows near you, I highly recommend experimenting with it*.

Preparation is simple, you really cannot screw it up unless you let all the water boil out.
Pick leaves, rinse off dirt and bugs in cold water, put in water to cover, simmer until they're icky greenish/brownish. Strain the water through a fine sieve or cheesecloth, squishing your leaf mess to get all the water out. Apply the cooled tea to the affected skin with a clean cotton ball or cloth, and allow it to dry without rinsing. Freeze leftover tea in an ice cube tray, to have it on hand for the next time.

Sweet fern can be dried, and saved for later use, without any loss of benefit. Rinse off any bugs or dirt with cold water, and give it a good shake to get it as dry as possible. Hang the branches in a cool, dry area.
The leaves will curl up as they dry, and are easily crushed for storage. Strip the leaves from the branches and  compost the sticks (or use them as kindling if you so desire). Store the collected leaves in an airtight container away from sunlight or heat sources, like any other herb or spice. 

It also has spiritual applications, and will drive unwelcome entities away when burned like sage (bundle the leaves together tightly before drying), or hung in the house at strategic points. Good medicine, indeed.

*For those who suffer from allergies:
I'm not aware of any allergic interactions with this plant, so you may want to spot test before going crazy with it. I'm allergic to... Nature. Pretty much anything that grows outside. I don't have a reaction to it, so I consider it to be fairly hypoallergenic. 

Suggestion: Learn yo' self what plants to use, and when, and how. Know your native healing herbs- they might be those weeds you've passed by, or mowed down in your yard, 10,000 times.

Suggested other useful & common weeds plants to look up:
Clover

Yarrow

Plantain (More)

Queen Anne's Lace (wild carrot)

Chamomile Allergy & identification warning: Looks very much like the common daisy, so be sure you've got the right plant! The best way to know is to grow it from seed yourself, and it has quite a few interactions, so take care with it's use.

Cattails - make sure you're not collecting them from polluted areas, or roadside ditches.

And some others I'm too lazy to link: acorns, catnip, dandelion, milkweed, burdock, & fiddlehead ferns. Some are just too obvious to bother with like various berries & whatnot. And this is only a small list of things right off the top of my wine-addled head.

DIY: Colored Play Rice

Like almost everything else I do, or know how to do, this comes from waaaaay back when I was a ittle kid.

When my younger brother was learning to walk, he burned his hands. Severely.  He was toddling along, and started to fall, when he grabbed one of our old-fashioned radiators. It left the palms of his hands completely covered in blisters, and I think this is probably the only time I have ever seen my mother in abject terror, and probably the first (& only time) I didn't ask "Why?" before doing as she told me to do. After we got him to the hospital, he spent 3 weeks in the burn unit. The doctor's weren't sure if he'd have full use of his hands from the scarring, so we were given activities to do with him to help stretch the skin, and improve his fine motor skills. He basically had to re-learn how to use his hands.

One of the things was playing in rice. Pick it up, scoop it, squish it, spread it out, etc.

My mom also discovered that she couldn't keep my hands out of it, either. It was permanently added to mom's arsenal of rainy day things to do.
Such a simple, yet amusing thing, and best of all, dirt cheap.

The one problem with play rice is... It looks like regular rice. And once my dad tried to cook it. Only when he saw all the fuzzies, cracker bits, floor pepper, etc, float to the surface, did he realize his mistake.

So I have a fix for that, which is pretty simple... Color some of the rice. Which also comes from my mom, although she never did it. I adapted her colored toasted coconut recipe for using with rice.

What you need:
A big ol' bag of cheap, white rice.
Some type of food coloring- drops, paste, gel, or Kool-Aid packets.
13x9 cake pan, lined with tinfoil. If you want to do 2 colors at once, use 2 small pans, or divide the pan with tinfoil.
Glass or stainless steel bowl
Soup or tablespoon
Slightly warm tap water
Oven preheated to 350

Paste, gel, or Kool-Aid: Take your bowl, put about 1-2 tbs of water in it, and mix in the food coloring/K.A. until it's dissolved. Pour in about a cup of rice, mix until covered. If there are puddles of color at the bottom, add more rice. You want the rice to look glossy, but not have a lot of extra water.
If using liquid color: Put the rice in the bowl first, then drip and mix until the rice is covered.
(will try to add pictures the next time I do these steps... Doh!)

Spread the rice out into your baking pan, it doesn't have to be perfect.
Pop it into the oven for 2-3 minutes.
Remove from oven, and stir. The rice should be mostly dry already, try to get any rice that has stuck to the tinfoil off, and crush up any clumps.
Shove it back in there for another 2 minutes, then repeat the stirring.
The rice should now be dry, if you didn't put too much water.
If it's still wet, put it back in, and stir at 1 minute (or less) intervals. Watch it like a hawk, seriously! It will start becoming brown lightning quick once it's fully dry. Let it cool, and mix it with your white rice.
You can also layer it in jars, and make it pretty for an easy gift! (see below)

Finished results:

The pink & blue rice was made using Wilton paste colors, Christmas Red & Sky Blue. Yeah, it looks orange, but that's my camera. It's actually hot pink. I was not impressed, so I tried something else to get red...

Older siblings will also like it....

Watch out for this position, though, it means you're going to have a roomfull of rice in 3...2...1...

Gifting: Layer your colors with white rice in a way that is pleasing to you... Very simple. The ones with the wavy lines was as easy as poking a chopstick down the sides to make the dips, like sand bottle art. These are going to live with my mom & my brother for my nephew to play with. I'm sure my brother will at least get a kick out of it. :)

 These were all done with Kool-Aid... Green is Lemon-Lime, bright red is Cherry, and the darker red is Black Cherry :)

Opening Soon On Etsy...

Mah shop!
We've hit a rough spot, and I needed to do something so I feel like I'm contributing to the household, instead of just living here & eating all my husband's money. This has nothing to do with him, he thinks I'm a nut, but nonetheless, I need to do it for my own peace of mind. He said I don't need to do anything, especially because it's his student loans that are the problem.
So anyway, I'm making/gathering some stuff & things to sell. I have a set of coasters, a pair of earrings, and a crapton of fresh pine cones. As of this minute, there's nothing actually in the shop, but I hope to list some things later today.* Listed things, will be updated as more awesome things are made :D

Witch City

Trip was... Eventful...? I guess you could say...
Nearly got T-boned by an old lady on the way in.
I had to pee SOOOO BAD!!! that I thought my bladder was going to explode while we drive around looking for a place to park. All the garages & lots were full.
Saw a port-a-potty, made Heather pull over to let me out while she kept searching, so she & I were separated for a bit, but found each other with the use of our cellphones. I ended up getting into the car a few blocks down.

Finally, after about another hour & a half of looking, we found someone who was leaving, so we waited for their spot. It was only a 2-hour spot, but we talked to the meter maid, to ask if she knew any other places to park...
She listed all the garages & lots we'd been to. She felt bad that we'd been looking so long, and told us that they stop ticketing at 5, and that was only a half an hour after the meter would expire. She insinuated that she "might forget" to check that lot, and we "maybe" wouldn't get a ticket if we "accidentally" stayed there too long.
Then when the other people were finally leaving, some wench tried to take our spot that we'd been waiting 15 minutes for. Almost had to get out of the car & have a throw-down.

After that, it was pretty much smooth sailing. We wandered around, shopped, took pictures, all that fun touristy stuff.

We also had tickets given to us by a couple who was leaving town for one of the Witch City attractions, so we chose to go to the wax museum.

But the crowning glory of our trip was this...

  Wait, wrong picture. Never mind.
Eh hem. Moving on.
I found a quilt shop! But it was closed. (insert super sad face here.) :( While I was pouting, one of the ladies inside came to the door, and asked if we'd like to come in, because I looked so sad...
HELLS YEAH I WOULD!!!
I was originally looking for Heather Ross prints, but they didn't have any in.
However, they did have the Alexander Henry Ghastlies! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!! While one of the ladies was cutting, she offered me the last 7/8th that they had of Ghastlie Evening!
HELLS YEAH I WANT IT!
So yeah. Score!

Cheezus Bizkits

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm not Christian, and I don't wish to offend anyone. Ok, getting that out of the way...
I worship Cheezus. I am the High Priestess of Cheezus. In the Pantheon, we also have Saint Bacon, Saint Garlic and some assorted others. But Cheezus, Bacon and Garlic are the most important ones. You can worship Cheezus in his many forms of tasty noms. These are what is served during communion. Send donations to the Church of Cheezus to my PayPal account, thanks! Then we can haz more Bizkits! ^.^

You will need:
1 8 oz. rectangular block of your most favorite Cheeze. (We like to use Extra Sharp Cheddar, or Jalapeno Jack)
1 8 serving size of crescent rolls (Any brand, reduced fat variety)
Cooking spray
1 13x9 or similar pan
Tinfoil to line said pan
That's it. That's all you need. And... BEGIN!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
While oven is preheating, get drunk. Ehhem. I mean...
Line your pan with tinfoil, and spray the bottom with cooking spray. Then...
CUT THE CHEEZE! (immature giggle) into 8 equal portions, approximately 1 oz each, like thus:

Then, open your rolls. (Mine 'sploded all over the place, so these came out all a mess, and no pictures)
Separate your rolls, then wrap the Cheeze.

After you've wrapped it, smush the sides together, so they form somewhat-evenly covered blocks.

Then, when you've wrapped & smushed, STABBY STAB STAB!!!

Ok, not really. Make nice pretty holes in the tops so you can see the Cheeze, and arrange them so they are equally distant from each other like you have OCD.

I sprinkled these ones with garlic powder for extra nomness.
Bake for 15 minutes, then turn the pan if your oven sucks like ours does, then bake for 6 more minutes.
Then comes the hard part. Waiting for the Cheeze Lava to cool, so you can eat them.

Voila! Cheezus Communion Bizkits! Some will always be 'splody, but that's ok. They are still totally nom.

More Random Stuff

I'm not exactly sure what I'm writing... so here's a picture of a kitty!

Our new kitty, to be exact. My mom... (love her to death, but she's an idiot sometimes) took in a kitty. Female. Not spayed. I TOLD her she was going to get kittens. The cat was preggo, and there would be kittens everywhere. I also told her that Mama Cat would have a calico, and it was MINE. Well, somehow, she forgot all that. So, kittens arrived, four of them. One was calico, one was the one above, and there were also two orange tabbies, which my aunt took. My freakin' brat of a sister decided she wanted to keep the calico kitteh. I want to bitch-slap my mom for forgetting what I said. So... We looked around a bit, but we couldn't find a home for Mr. Poe. Admittedly, we didn't try that hard. We were going to put up a poster at the hospital, but somehow, I never got around to making it. And then....

GW's ex wife happened.

Yeah, I know, it sounds like it doesn't have anything to do with my mom's unwanted kitten, but it does.

And this is how. 

X-Lady sends GW a Facebook message, asking if he could take one of the cats that they had when they were married. She's getting another divorce, and isn't sure if wherever she is moving to will take 3 cats. Could we find it in our hearts to take Sir Henley? GW says... Of course we can. And then says to me that it's not fair to say no to my mom, and yes to Ex-Lady. So... Kitteh count will be up to SEVEN, come Memorial Day weekend. 

So, here are some more pictures of Mr. Poe, who is adorable beyond words.

Blurry, because the little bugger never stops moving unless he's asleep.

Scoot & Mr. Poe

Scoot & Mr. Poe 2

Shamefully Neglected

Yes, I do mean my blog. Sorry, blog... :(

I've been busy with a growing Bibbit, making stuff, and planning on making stuff...
The little imp has decided to stop growing, so I've been doing a lot of feeding. He's dropped down from the 90th percentile, to the 10th. While this worries me, Dr. E says it's no big deal. I'm short, and TJ is skinny, so she wasn't expecting him to stay a bruiser forever. At 10 months, he weighs 17 lbs, 14 oz, and is 28.5 inches long... He hasn't gained even a full pound in 4 months. I feel like a bad mom, even though he eats EVERYTHING, and is always nomming me.

GW also let me have a year's worth of PonyIsland... So, I've been doing that, too. I loves me some ponies!! This one's my favorite so far... Her name is StarCloud Radiance, nicknamed Cloudy Day, and she's a Purrpony. SQUEEEE!!

I made this for GW... Bibbit's first "cruise" around the living room... I only had my phone to take pictures with (we left our camera battery chargers at the hotel when we went to PAX... DOH!) so they're a little fuzzy, but you get the idea.

I have to go back to being a mom now... That Bibbit keeps me busy!